The Body Keeps The Score. From Decades of Stored Stress to Nervous System Regulation

When I first picked up Bessel Van Der Kolk's book "The Body Keeps the Score," I was drowning in my own midlife chaos. Perimenopause had arrived with its emotional storms and physical upheaval, leaving me feeling like a stranger in my own skin. I was desperately seeking answers for how to feel grounded again, and this book didn't just give me answers—it gave me a roadmap back to myself.

The Book That Changed Everything

Van der Kolk's groundbreaking work explores how difficult experiences live in our bodies, not just our minds. As a breathwork practitioner, I was fascinated by his research showing how our nervous system holds onto experiences long after they've passed. The book validated what I understood through my own practice: our bodies are constantly communicating with us, and breath is one of the most powerful ways to listen and respond.

What struck me most was van der Kolk's emphasis on the body's wisdom. He writes about how stress gets stored in our tissues, creating patterns of tension, reactivity, and disconnection. Reading this while navigating my own perimenopause journey, I realized I wasn't just dealing with hormonal changes—I was processing decades of accumulated stress that my body had been faithfully holding for me.

Where Science Meets Practice

The book's exploration of the nervous system perfectly validated my breathwork knowledge. Van der Kolk's research confirmed how our breath directly influences our nervous system's ability to shift from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest states.

As I read about the body's capacity for both holding difficult experiences and healing from them, the book confirmed my lived experience that breathwork is far more than just a relaxation technique. It's a tool for nervous system regulation. The practices I was working with—physiological sighs, coherent breathing, humming—weren't just making me feel better in the moment. They were helping me discharge stress that had been living in my tissues for years.

The Transformation in Action

Van der Kolk's work provided a scientific framework that validated what I already knew from my breathwork practice. When I slowed my breathing and felt those sharp, reactive feelings begin to soften, I wasn't just managing stress—I was creating space for my nervous system to recalibrate. The book confirmed that the pause I could access between stimulus and response was my body's innate healing intelligence at work.

The chapter on yoga and breathing particularly resonated with me. Van der Kolk discusses how these practices help us develop interoceptive awareness—the ability to feel what's happening inside our bodies. This aligned perfectly with my experience: reading my own signals, recognizing the tight stomach of anxiety or the shallow breathing of overwhelm, and responding with compassion rather than pushing through.

Why This Book Matters for Anyone Interested in Breathwork

"The Body Keeps the Score" doesn't just explain how difficult experiences affect us—it offers hope. Van der Kolk shows us that our bodies, which have the capacity to hold pain, also have an extraordinary ability to heal. This understanding transformed how I approached my own breathwork practice and, eventually, how I guide others as a certified facilitator.

The book validates what many of us experience but struggle to explain: that healing isn't just a mental process. It's a full-body experience that requires us to befriend our nervous system rather than override it. Van der Kolk's research supports what I see in my practice every day—that when we learn to work with our body's wisdom through tools like breathwork, transformation isn't just possible, it's inevitable.

The Lasting Impact

Reading "The Body Keeps the Score" while discovering breathwork created a perfect storm of understanding and healing in my life. Van der Kolk's work gave me the scientific foundation to trust what my body was telling me, while breathwork gave me the practical tools to respond with care.

Now, when I guide other women through their own breathwork journeys, I often recommend this book as essential reading. It helps them understand that their bodies aren't betraying them—they're trying to heal. And breath, as van der Kolk so beautifully demonstrates, is one of our most powerful allies in that healing process.

This book isn't just about difficult experiences; it's about reclaiming the wisdom of our bodies and remembering that everything we need to transform our lives is already inside us, waiting for us to simply breathe it into being.